so i dont know about you, but i liked the whole inside audrey's mind thing i did. so i think im going to do one just like it. without further ado... SANCTUS REAL! i wish. no seriously here goes nothing.
what i have been thinkg about since last night is the song "im not alright". it says "all i go through leads me to you." before i thought i knew exactly what that meant. but now i realize i had it all wrong. it means that there will always be someone who is going to let us down. we are humans, we do that. so after so much hurt we can do two things. loose faith, or we can cling tighter to jesus. christians know that god will always be there to hold us up and never ever let go. so knowing that and also knowing that people will always hurt us and let us down, i hold on to jesus as my only lifeline. but when something (like oh idk, maybe a guys spreads rumors that you are gay and your "friends" believe them) happens, i want to cry. but i really should be rejoicing. because when something like that does happen, it just makes me need jesus even more. so next time i feel like crying... which will probably be when kyler breaks up with me, i should go WOW THANKS GOD! emm... please help me to do that. im not that strong. OMGSH! thats a quote from that same song. wow i sure do love that.
next... i really like him but... i dont think emm does. i kinda feel awkward when i talk about him around her. hmmm...? whatever.
third... im really enjoying my journey to jesus. i think im a better person and im glad for that. i think about the times when i was so far from god and wonder how i lived with out him. everything seems right. i do miss times of less responsibility and endless fun. days when the only thing to be sad about was not getting to share at show and tell time. but i cant say i would rather go back to then. even when my eyes hurt from crying.
and last... i feel bad because i realize god is not the focus of my life. you may be saying "uh duh its not. its obviously sanctus real" well that wasnt so obvious to me a few days ago. not until this past wednesday. so i must get past this obsession. im trying very hard. so for the next hour i will not think about sanctus real. no chris. no cds. not even air guitar. and every time i do, i will counter the thought with reading a verse in the bible.
so i will c u later emm (and u too if by some miracle someone besides emm is reading this)
audrey hiebel <3