unknown, undecided, and un-un-written

So usually when i write blogs i spend time wording it so that i dont sound really retarded. well this time its uncensored. i wont push backspace or even think i will just type what i feel. so get ready to take a tour of audrey's mind... buckle your seat belts!
hmmm... how do i become a very famous volcanologist/ astronomer, when no one knows who i am. how to become...un-unknown or known WHATEVER. but i wanna be looked up to by little nerds just like me who are proud to admit that they love science... (:
but now i wonder... should i be a volcanologist/astronomer or a youth pastor. science and god are really important to me. of course god is more important. but idk if i want my whole life to be just a youth pastor so should i maybe try to do both. that could get hectic. but not doing something that has to do with god just isnt and option. i need everyone to see his love and if it takes me as a window then so be it. i think im going to write a song about that. to those lurking in the shadows... let us be the windows so you can see past the walls... reveal his mercy as it falls.... hmm wow i just thought of that off the top of my head. i bet i could make a really god song about that.
anyways... i would love to think of my life as unwritten and that i could be that one hero in my life that changes everything. but, alas, its just not going to happen. there will always be dishes to load, someone to please, a person above me, and something to cry about. so, with that i know what i must do. focus on the POSITIVE. i will always have at least one friend, someone who is always pleased with me, someone above me...watching after me and a reason to rejoice...even when im crying. this is true. god watches out for me. the veggie tales state it very clearly. god is watching out for me and you. so he will always be leading me in the right direction... but does that mean my future is un-unwritten or is it just unwritten.
if you survived those few paragraphs... congradulations! u have just spent 3 minutes in my confusing little mind. try doing that everyday for all of your life. ya thats right. well thx for reading emm!
catch ya on the flopside...lol thats from dan(:
audrey